So we watched Death Proof last night, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed by a movie in my entire life. The movie I signed up to watch was about Kurt Russell killing people with a muscle car. The movie Quentin Tarantino gave me had two segments that contained almost nothing but women chewing on Quentin Tarantino dialogue. Before actually sitting through the movie disabused me of this, I told my wife that if I had ovaries merely watching a movie about Kurt Russell killing people with a muscle car might be enough to make me pregnant. Instead what I watched repeatedly kicked me in the nuts so hard that it probably made me sterile.